Braces

Yes that's right, I have a metal mouth! It's funny because my mouth is now more expensive than most laptops.
It hurts to eat and brushing my teeth takes so long it's annoying. Fruit is the worst. I've developed a technique of ripping of small chunks of the food and sticking it into my mouth.
It works by sticking a metal thing to your teeth and then attaching them all to a wire with an elastic band which pulls them into place. Five days in I managed to get one of the elastic bands out while brushing my teeth.
I'm still really lucky because I don't have elastic bands attaching my mouth together which seems really annoying and it isn't too showy.
So, in conclusion, Jaws eat your heart out.